I was in Algarrobo this week-end, an improvised trip to escape to the pollution, to check if the change of air helps with the constant exhaustion and intermittent headache.
While in Algarrobo, I felt a bit better but still tired, and I started to think that maybe I was imagining things. I did not work to my full potential, but I did work well on some stuff, I did feel inspired and drew a nice penguin on a jar. I ran twice, helped at the house with stuff, cooked.
I took the bus back to Santiago this morning. I was fully awake in the bus and working, but when I arrived in Santiago (still in the bus, between pajarito and Alameda) I felt exhausted and my eyes were crying. I am in the appartment and I feel a headache again, and my eyes are sore, and I feel exhausted, I feel I wanna lie down and sleep forever untill I feel better.
The sky looks so grey here, it could be that it's just the clouds being low. I feel exhausted, it could be that I woke up early, or that I am depressed, overwhelmed with all that I have to do (I did not work too well last week because I felt sick). I do think that it plays a role but I don't think that this is all.
At some point I will have to trust my intuition, which Chileans told me to ignore for so many years: the air quality here is making ME sick, whether I am more sensitive to it than others or whether the others are lying to themselves. I have to leave this city. Just buying a house outside of the city and coming back during the day for classes and meetings will not be sufficient. I need to leave in a place with a better air.